If we want to help for a long time, we have to learn to take care of ourselves.
Compassion fatigue is something we all need to be aware of when we are helpers. We will go, go, go until we fall over. And that does no one any good - for us or the others we are trying to help over the long term.
It impacts anyone who holds space for others - anyone who is a helper (myself included).
For a lot of us, the point of life after loss is to make a difference. To do something with the pain we’ve felt. To create meaning out of the mess.
Because otherwise... what was it all for?
Some of us feel this deep urge to make our suffering count for something. To use it as fuel for something better. Others just feel a strong pull to serve, to show up for others, no matter what we’ve lived through.
But no matter what brought you to the role of “helper,” you need to hear this: If you don’t take care of yourself, you will burn out fast.
We ignore what we need because it feels selfish. It feels wrong to rest when the world is falling apart. People are suffering - humans, animals, the planet - and we feel like we should be doing more.
But empathy without boundaries leads to exhaustion. And eventually, numbness. And the world doesn’t need more burnt-out, shut-down, heartbroken people pretending they’re fine. (I mean I am one of those occasionally, but that’s why I do this.)
Here are three things to try to work through all the ish and be proactive about avoiding burn out:
Name one thing you need right now - and give it to yourself. Rest? Quiet? A snack? A boundary? Do it, no apology necessary. You can even put something on your checklist that you’ve already done and scratch it out. That totally counts - and can make you feel more accomplished.
Pick one cause you care about and do something tiny. Sign a petition. Donate $5. Light a candle. Helping doesn’t have to be huge.
Take a media break for a day. Your nervous system deserves a moment to recalibrate. All of this will still be here tomorrow - but you will have a little more capacity to face it.
You don’t have to save the world.
You just need to take care of the piece of it you were handed - including yourself.
You matter. Your grief matters. And your healing? That’s part of the work too.
So, if you’re feeling numb, exhausted, or like you’ve stopped caring the way you used to - it might not be that you’re broken. It might be compassion fatigue.
You don’t have to push through. There is nothing heroic about burnout. Sometimes the most radical thing you can do is pause and realize you are human.
With love (and currently working through her own burnout),
Hannah
I’ll be doing a free seminar next week about compassion fatigue in animal care - I hope you can join me. You can attend it either in person in Fargo, ND, or virtually.
Get your ticket here:
PS This is Stewie! My main man who I miss very much ❤️
