Some days you just have to say “F it”. I stole this meme from Facebook (by Masood Boomgaard), but I believe every bit of it - even if it has mispellings and bad language :
Whether you’re grieving, or dealing with an illness, or just having a sucky day, not every day needs to turn around. Nor should it.
There are reasons we need to have a bad day, even if we want to avoid them. Though my sister occasionally may tease me that I am a Pollyanna, and have to turn everything into a good thing (this article comes to mind), I really do feel that bad days are important to help us have better days in the future.
Why should you feel your feels and just have a bad day?
These tough days are beneficial for several reasons:
Emotional processing: Experiencing sadness or pain allows us to process our emotions, which is a crucial (somewhat painful) part of healing. By facing our feelings head-on, we can better understand them and eventually learn to cope.
Building resilience: Going through difficult times helps us become stronger and more resilient. As we navigate through bad days, we develop coping skills and emotional resilience that can serve us well in the future.
Learning to give ourselves boundaries: Retraining our brain to not “push through” and telling ourselves to just take a nap, rest, or write it out, is essential to healthy grieving. It is a habit that needs to be built, just like any habit.
Personal growth: Bad days can be opportunities for growth and self-discovery (even if we hate it. Ugh). They can teach us about our strengths, help us identify areas we need to work on, and ultimately contribute to our personal development. I have used journaling to get some of those things out of my head on to paper. I even wrote a short guide to doing it : Transform Your Life w/ Journaling
Connecting with others: Sharing our struggles can create bonds with others who are going through similar experiences. This can foster a sense of community and support that's invaluable during the grieving process. Grief groups are a great example of this. We spend a lot of time going through all of the emotions, and none of us try to fix the “bad” ones.
While it can physically and mentally hurt to have a bad day, they are normal part of life and we all have them (even though social media can show other wise).
These bad days ultimately help us grow and heal. Be gentle with yourself and know that it's okay to have tough moments, as they can lead to brighter days ahead.
I have included some other articles on the importance of bad days. I hope you enjoy them!
Judith Orloff, MD. (2020). The Importance of Having a Bad Day. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-empaths-survival-guide/202008/the-importance-having-bad-day
Guy Winch, Ph.D. (2017). The Surprising Benefits of Feeling Sad. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201707/the-surprising-benefits-feeling-sad
Dr. Melanie Greenberg. (2019). Why Bad Days Are Good for You. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201907/why-bad-days-are-good-you
Julienne B. Derichs, LCPC. (2017). The Importance of Allowing Yourself to Feel. GoodTherapy. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/importance-of-allowing-yourself-to-feel-1117174
These articles should provide some insights on the value of bad days, especially during the grieving process. Personally, I think I would have worked through some things sooner if I would have acknowledged my feelings - but that’s for another day. I should follow my own advice and not judge myself 🤪.
As my husband Sam says so well: Have the day you’re going to have, and don’t push yourself to be feeling a way you are not. Bad days or good days, they are what they are.
yes! very good advice. now I just need to remember it!
This hit me today, and I definitely needed it! Thank you