Why fear and doubt keep us small after loss

When someone dies, there is a tendency to keep ourselves small because:

Small is not scary.

Small means we don't miss them when we celebrate a win.

Small means others don't perceive that we are either more or less “far along” in our grief than we should be.

Small means we don't get in other people's way.

Small means we aren't seen as a threat.

Small means we aren't in charge of things we may screw up (this applies to being in charge of money).

For those of us who have lost a loved one who may have had well-meaning but not very nice things to say about how we live our lives, we can perpetuate their fears here on Earth by straight up begging them to yell at us that we are doing something, anything wrong.

They do not want you to do this! Their earthly minds are no longer burdened by the fears that led them to say these sorts of things to us.

Stop making yourself small because you think you're messing up, or worse yet, because you think they knew better than you. Think of all of the things you learned They are proud of you! So. SO proud. Their fears here on earth may not have allowed them to fully support you.

99% of the time, the hurtful things they said here are earth were from a place of wanting to keep you safe from their perceived fears.

When they die, fear leaves their bodies. This also means your loved ones are no longer fearful for you, and they will do everything in their power to help you succeed.

We just have to accept and allow that help. That will take time as we work through our feelings but give yourself grace as you move along towards accepting their assistance.