No, you are not "feeling too much". Vicarious grief & trauma are very real.

You can grieve for people you don't know, and be traumatized by events that you watch others go through - via social media, on TV, in conversations, any of it.

I am not minimizing the actual victims of tragedy, but vicarious grief and trauma are very real, and I want you to know you are NOT alone if you feel this way.

Our brains emit stress chemicals whether we are the ones experiencing an event, or if we are the ones witnessing it. We can internalize the traumatic events that happen in front of us (online or in person), especially if the person is someone we can identify with (widows seeing widows, dog rescuers seeing dogs in pain, parents seeing other parents, teachers seeing other teachers...).

When we internalize these events, we can experience stress symptoms like feeling “fluey”, being angry, or being sad for no apparent reason.

This is not a sign of weakness. People who experience vicarious grief and trauma are NOT WEAK.

Instead of rolling our eyes and telling ourselves to get over it, realize our brains are simply processing things as if we are experiencing the traumatic event ourselves. We are not feeling too much or being overly dramatic, and judging ourselves will only make those feelings worse.

Here are some signs you are dealing with vicarious trauma:

• experiencing lingering feelings of anger, rage and sadness about the situation or event

• feeling like you have the flu or like you’re coming down with a bug of some sort

• becoming overly emotional in interactions with strangers

• experiencing bystander guilt, shame, feelings of self-doubt

• being preoccupied with thoughts of the situation

Here are some ways to cope if you are overwhelmed:

• Write it out. Whether it’s a regular journaling practice, or just a one time “get it down on paper and out of your head”, writing the situation down will help you process the trauma.

• Drink water! Lots of water! Your body needs to flush out the stress chemicals.

• Exercise - including just a short walk around the block

• Take regular breaks

• Engage with people in person if possible

• Be kind to yourself, and non judgemental. You can do this. You are human.

If you find yourself being overly empathetic to events around the world on a consistent basis, I highly recommend turning off your phone for a bit. Take a break from sharing sad posts, drink some water, and take a walk around the block. You're not going to miss out on something. Instead, you're going to give yourself and your brain a nice break from the chemicals flooding it.

Long term exposure to stress chemicals cause inflammation and a host of other chronic health problems. If you're sick it's harder to change the world and turn your pain to purpose, let alone change your clothes...

Giving yourself a break will only make you stronger and more effective in the long run, and that’s our goal, isn’t it?