Overcoming adversity is different for everyone. (duh. but please hear me out)
I spend a lot of time talking about how there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and that we need to withhold judgement on how others “do” their grief. The same is true for overcoming adversity or handling change.
The short explanation: Some people make big changes in response to adversity, while others work through challenges internally. Recognizing that those around us won’t process these things the same way we would is key.
The longer explanation: Our paths to healing are shaped by a combination of personal history, culture, personality, and the specific nature of the challenges we face. While some may tackle adversity head-on with visible strength and determination, others might find healing in quiet reflection or seemingly small acts of self-care. There is no singular “right way” to move through hardship, and recognizing this truth can foster greater compassion—for us and for others.
For some, overcoming adversity may look like embracing radical change. This could be starting a new career, ending a relationship, or finding a new sense of purpose. This is me; this is exactly how I roll. I love making big changes anytime something difficult happens. I’ve moved to new cities, changed careers, etc, etc. Change is my go-to when shit hits the fan.
For others, it might be as simple—and profound—as getting out of bed, preparing a meal, or showing up for a loved one. External markers of progress often fail to capture the depth of an internal journey. It’s important to honor all expressions of resilience, no matter how they manifest.
It’s natural to have good days and hard days, moments of clarity followed by complete confusion. Allow yourself to move through this without judgment. Grace is the antidote to the inner voice that demands you “move on” or “be better.” It’s a reminder that you are doing the best you can, even when it doesn’t feel like enough.
Understanding that everyone works through adversity differently means avoiding the urge to fix, advise, or rush anyone through their healing. Listening without offering solutions can be a powerful way to hold space for someone’s individual process. Acknowledge feelings without trying to change them. Sometimes, the most compassionate act is simply to sit quietly in their presence, letting them know they are not alone.
Overcoming adversity looks different for everyone, and to be clear in all of this, I mean there is no wrong way as long as you are working through these things *healthily* - not drinking your sorrows away or sleeping 16 hours a day. We can do hard things, as trite as that sounds, and you will come out the other side. Just be kind to yourself along the way.