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There is no time limit on turning your pain to purpose.
The healthier you are mentally, the more impact you will have in the long term.
On Wednesday night I was sitting in my hotel room remembering how I used to want to be the one organizations called when they needed someone to come talk about grief when something bad happened. And now I'm that person they call:
I couldn't have done this mentally even 2 or 3 years ago, but now I'm at a place where I compartmentalize the things I hear. I can provide space and information for the people who need it, without making myself sick in the process.
I think there is a misconception that we need to turn our pain to purpose *right* away, like there is some time limit on our ability to help others.
I'm here to tell you there is no time limit, and honestly, the healthier you are mentally, the more impact you can have over the long term.
We do not need to take the crap that has happened in our lives and immediately turn it into a teaching moment for others, or an inspirational story on social media.
Tiktok and other platforms have created an environment where someone experiences a tragic thing, and then within months we watch them somehow magically walk into the sunset perfectly healed with a lovely life that seems to no longer hold any pain.
That is not reality. We put pressure on ourselves to *immediately* present our losses as teaching moments for others, or as an inspirational story that others can consume at their leisure. I have felt this pressure.
Do not fall victim to these thoughts. Instead:
Take the time to process your loss. You don’t need to start a non-profit right away (or at all), or a memorial scholarship, or name a bench, or any of that. You CAN do those things if you would like, but there is no time limit on turning our pain into purpose.
Give yourself grace if you think you are ready to create something out of your pain, and then rethink it.
Give yourself permission to NOT do anything from your pain. You don’t need to jack squat with it.
Above all, don’t judge yourself in relation to what others have or have not done (or what they say you should or should not do).
Your journey is yours and yours alone. You’ll know when it’s time to take that pain and do something with it.
Want to chat about grief or turning your pain to purpose? Let’s set up a time to talk!
(Next week I’m going to talk about how to handle the holidays when you don’t really want to deal with it all.)